I. AM. ALIVE.
I’m so sorry I haven’t posted anything since school began. I found it hard to write every week, so I’ll just do a quick update. My uni is on the quarter system and literally, IT IS SO ROUGH. It goes by so fast, especially when you have other stuff on top of academics. Ahhh!!! I just finished finals yesterday for winter quarter, and I’m currently at the airport waiting to go home. I’m just going to ramble.
I was looking back at pictures and snapchat stories, trying to find what has happened to me the past few months and literally, I only have snaps of me drowning in work. (And loads of pictures of just notes upon notes.) It’s been almost two full years at uni, and I’m honestly still figuring out what works for me. I learned that it’s okay to just accept the ‘figuring things out stage.’ You have to take a step back and work on your own pace. Don’t try to follow others and don’t spread yourself too thin. It’s easy to get sucked into what others are doing, and feeling behind on everything when everyone around you seems to be doing so much at once. Sure, some people can do it all- but some of us, not really.
I think that has been extremely hard for me. I used to feel as if I was on top of everything (not in stats) but like on top of my life and getting things done on a timely manner. At uni, t’s definitely not as easy as high school. It’s tough handling clubs, jobs, and academia all at once. I feel the constant need to give off the vibe that I have my shit together- but I don’t. Hahaha. I always tell myself that it’s going to be okay, but there are definitely days where I just break.
Flashback to literally two days ago, I had probably three breakdowns because I was just so frustrated with everything. It’s so easy to lose yourself in the midst of doing everything that you forget why you’re doing it in the first place. I remember just sitting in the corner and bawling- it was just a lot of pent up stress. GRANTED, I MADE THINGS WORSE BY FREAKING OUT ABOUT FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I HAD FINALS THE NEXT DAY. (Don’t worry guys, I go to therapy because self-care is important!)
I literally don’t know where I’m going with this post, but lesson of the past two quarters: just put your best foot forward and go with all your might. It may not be enough for that professor, but your best is your best already. Don’t take yourself too seriously sometimes. It’s okay to fall every now and then. Just get back up. If you keep falling, keeping getting back up!!
I’m rooting for you in whatever it is that you are planning to do. I’m rooting for you every day, in all of the small and big tasks.
Lets hope for an exciting spring break!
**THIS IS A RAW POST, PLEASE DON’T JUDGE ME ON HOW DISORGANIZED IT IS. I ALREADY KNOW. HAHAHAHA. Pls, let a girl live, she just finished finals. )-: